Survival Tips For The Urban Jungle

kfurneaux Blog

Always carry your purse or bag with the zipper closed and to your front and close to your body.  This will make it very hard for anyone trying to pickpocket you in a crowded space such as public transport or busy malls.  If you don’t have a zipper on your purse or bag, carry it with the flap closed and close to your body.  Anything that requires a bit of effort to open will alert you to the fact when someone is trying to relieve you of your treasured possessions and give you time to react and save them.


To avoid costly trips to the Chiropractor change which side you carry your heavy purse or bags on regularly.  It’ll balance out your body and prevent your muscles from over-developing on one side.


To prevent holes in your stocking becoming unsightly ladders, keep a small bottle of clear nail polish in your purse.  As soon as you notice you have a hole in your stocking, dab the edges of the hole with the nail polish and it will halt any further deterioration of your hose.


Always keep a small tube of toothpaste, toothbrush and deodorant handy in your office desk or daypack.  I used to keep one in my stunt bag just in case I had a particularly close up fight scene after a garlicky lunch.  Your co-workers will appreciate it.


Avoid the Marilyn Monroe affect.  On a windy day always remember to hold your skirt down with one hand when you hit an intersection in a skyscraper district or else wear your nicest knickers.  The wind funnels through the tall buildings and when it hits the intersections it creates swirling updrafts that may ruffle even the most tailored of skirts.


The most ferocious animals of the Urban Jungle are the packs of Friday night businessmen.  They are easy to identify with their ties loosened off and slightly down, top button undone and quite often seen gathering near pubs or taxi stands.  One or two on their own are manageable but once their numbers rise to four or above, avoid at all cost.  They have finished their tightly controlled workweek and are ready to let lose and cause havoc


New to a city? Be sure to stick to well-populated roads and steer clear of smaller laneways and alleys.  Until you know which laneways host those trendy second-hand shops and which alleys host the local drug deals it’s best not to take a chance with your life.


Traveling by yourself?  Wear sunglasses with dark lenses so that it is hard for people to make eye contact with you.  If they don’t make eye contact with you, they are less likely to approach and hassle you.


Always carry a mix of cash and credit cards.  We are living in an age where we become so dependent on credit cards for all our transactions that there are times when I don’t have cash on me for weeks.  This could leave you in a very bad situation if you end up in a “cash only” situation.  You could be left stranded late at night trying to catch the last bus home or ending up in a “Cash Only” taxi.


Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.  I always try to carry some cash in a separate place to my wallet, even if it’s just a five-dollar bill in my back pocket.  That way if my purse or wallet gets stolen, I have some money to make a call or buy some lunch until such time as I can get home or get to the bank to get a replacement card.  I also have a twenty in the glove box of my car in case I forget my purse when I’ve ducked out to get some milk.  Saves a trip back home.  This also helps when I have used valet parking and forgotten to get out some cash.  Just remember to replace it once you have used it.


Not a fan of the sneakers with the business suit look?   Allow a little bit of extra time to get to work or to catch your bus or train.  By walking more slowly, you will prevent shin splints or other lower leg strain injuries that are caused and aggravated by “power walking” in high heels.


Subway safety.  If you are traveling at times of low crowd volume, don’t get on an empty train carriage.  You may love all the privacy and room to spread out but it only takes one misguided human being to get on with you and you could be in trouble.  Pick a carriage that has at least a few separate groups of people in it already.


Wardrobe Malfunction? MacGyver it!

Replace a broken zipper pull with a paper clip or safety pin to be able to zip up that fly in a fix.


When the whole zipper is broken, use a stapler to attach it together again.  You will need to use at least one staple for every centimeter that’s not working, maybe more if it is a tough material and tight clothing.  The staples will blend in with the zipper and save your dignity.


Stuck zipper and busting for a pee?  Use lip balm or a bar of soap to lubricate the teeth of the zip for a smoother slide.  Coloring the zipper with a lead pencil will also work if your office supplies are close at hand.


Use double sided tape to fix up a droopy hem if your skirt becomes undone.  Also works to replace a missing button if your favorite shirt accidentally got a little too racy on the way to your board meeting.  Staples work nicely too but can look a little obvious and unsightly.


Washed your favorite sweater in with your fluffy new towels?  The unsightly ‘pills’ can be removed as simply as you would remove the hairs on your legs.  Grab a disposable razor and shave the pills off.  Quickly and easily your sweater will look like new.


Broken the heel off your favorite pumps on the way to the office?  Superglue works best for a temporary fix but if there is no glue in sight, some duct tape will hold the heel in place and a permanent marker the colour of your shoe will help blend it in.  It is really important that you don’t forget that this is just a temporary fix and walk carefully on your repair job as it will never be as strong as the real deal. Hit up a shoe repair place for a “mend while you wait” at lunchtime or on the way home.  A good repair job can take as little as fifteen minutes.

Share my post! Survival Tips For The Urban Jungle by @kyfurneaux